Awakening & Embracing now
Awakening.
Wow, I could not be more excited for the start of this new year. The end of 2021 was the hardest time in our life. I hit rock bottom in every way possible, emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually. And as weird as it sounds, I’m glad that I did. Because I was forced to completely stop, absolutely everything. I stoped doing and let go of every thought, plan, expectation, dream… I rested my body, my mind, my soul. I allowed the pain of life to wash over me and I didn’t try to run away from it or wish it away. I sat with it and felt it in every inch of my being. I allowed it to be what it was and waited for the process to naturally unfold, simply feeling without judgement. That’s when I learnt what self compassion was.
Then one day, I woke up and felt a little spark of life within me. I felt like I was slowly being born again. But this time I wasn’t interested in going back to the way I was. In the stillness of the pain I learnt how to listen to my body and soul while shutting out the fear and chaos of the world around me. I learnt how to feel truth in my body and I wasn’t going to let that go. So I stayed still, lived gently and listened to the intuitive guidance from within.
I ‘found myself’ at the flowing creek near our house. I spent many hours meditating, listening and simply being, until one day something within me deeply shifted. Like a puzzle piece effortlessly falling into place and completing me. When I opened my eyes, I cried with joy as I felt the magic of life surround me. I was awake and in awe of the clarity I felt. I finally found my purpose: to live simply in truth, love and innate contentment.
As the dust settled I was overcome with love and gratitude for all that I was and all that I had . I felt so deeply connected to nature, like I was a tiny part of the abundance that surrounded me. I was full, complete and at home. I couldn’t imagine needing or wanting anything more than what was in that moment. I felt my soul radiating as I thought of my baby Charlie and how blessed I am to live each day along side him. But above all, how honoured I am to be his guide in life. He was and always will be my ‘why’; the anchor that brings me back to my truth and light, so that I can keep showing up as my best for him.
Embracing my life, now
Above all else, I wholeheartedly accept my responsibility as a mama in this season of my life and embrace the gifts and limitations I have been given. I choose to see motherhood as important and valuable work. As a mama to baby Charlie who is 18 months old, my number one role is to be his guide and role model in life. He is at the top of my list in so many ways and for so many reasons. He completely depends on me and I refuse to see that as a burden, inconvenience and interference in my life plan or the person I should be.
The best part of embracing the role of being his guide in life, is that I actually have to priorities self love and self care FIRST. The person he is becoming is very much influenced by his environment. And I AM his constant environment. So the way that I do EVERYTHING in my days, from the way I talk to myself and the things I do, teaches him about life and shapes him. And because raising the best human I possibly can is one of my deepest desires, I actually have to lead the way in being the best human I know how.
So being Charlie’s mum is the most important work I can possibly do right now in my life, because it means taking care of myself first so I can show him what a thriving life looks and feels like. That is my biggest responsibility and what a joy it is to have it! I am so grateful.